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Lusty Ladies at Play - What Can Be Wrong?

May 15, 2007-- For Immediate Release

Synopsis: Guidelines to make girls night out and a bride-to-be fling a safe and fun experience.

Burlington, ON, Canada (Sources) May 16, 1997 - Sexual fantasies are a part of a normal active adult imagination. Playing with these fantasies can be fun. How this is done is vital to maintaining self esteem, self respect and real life relationships, says Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed., author of Questing France a book about coping with infidelity.

Men and women often have problems accepting that women have sexual expectations, desires and fantasies. Many men fear their own performance will not live up to the woman's fantasies. They feel threatened. They do not want their partner to engage in girls' nights out. Understanding women share these concerns when their partner goes to stags and strip clubs can open communication for the couple and help them set realistic expectations for themselves and their partner.

There is also a double standard with some men that it is alright for them to look at women lustfully but it is not normal for women to look at men with sexual thoughts. Lack of clear understanding and open communication can needlessly cause serious problems in committed monogamous relationships. It can also hamper the development of new intimate dating relationship.

If you want to have a fun on a girls' night out:

  1. Let your man know that it is about fun and fantasy.
  2. Agree on limits to behaviour such as no physical contact.
  3. Share your personal expectations that you have for yourself. Know your limits with money, alcohol and or drugs.
  4. Don't let peer pressure get you into doing something you don't want to do.
  5. Be open with your partner after the event so no one can tell stories about your behaviour that could cause you problems.

Fantasy is something that is not real and is based on a made up version or story. When women see the near naked body of an attractive male entertainer, they may project their desires onto that male. When they lose sight of the fact that what they create is in fact not real, they can behave in ways that break their own moral code. Strippers are experienced at enticing money and physical and emotional responses from viewers.

Feeling sexually aroused or hot can take blood away from the brain into the genital area. The excitement, especially if it is accompanied by alcohol or drug use, can result in poor choices. A lonely wife or sexually frustrated woman can imagine she is the one desired by the provocatively behaving male. This is a great escape from the stresses and strains of real life. It is not reality. It can lead to dangerous situations.


  1. Truth builds trust, so tell your partner the truth.
  2. Sharing fantasies evoked by the girls' night can lead to a more adventurous sexual relationship with your partner.
  3. Creating a new deal about what behaviour is alright for each partner from areas of conflict can strengthen the relationship. Different couples have different tolerance levels.
  4. If you feel your behaviour needs to be hidden from your partner you are probably out of line.
  5. If you are fantasizing about the entertainer after the event you need to talk to someone about your ideas. It is the entertainer's job to get your fantasies churning not to fulfill them.

Using fantasy to compensate for a bad relationship will not help create the quality of life you desire. Using fantasy for fun and safe enjoyment is a great stress reliever. So fuel your fantasies and enjoy! At the end of the party go back to reality refreshed by laughter, fun and friendship!

Discover more about ways to cope with jealousy, infidelity, couple conflict, helping children deal with marital strife and building a strong relationship in Questing France: Deepening the Search for My Holy Grail, Personal Growth Through Travel. ISBN-10: 0973412925 ISBN-13: 978-0973412925

Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed., is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist, and clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. With 30 years experience working with clients on relationship issues she has used her expertise to author books on personal growth through travel. She also carries her message to audiences internationally as a speaker on relationship issues. www.mbcinc.ca

Contact Quest Publishing Canada www.questpublishing.ca 905 639 0050 1 877 734 1517

Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed.
Registered Marriage and Family Therapist

Burlington, ON, Canada
905 639 0050
1 877 734 1517

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